This year I have a resolution plan. Because I want to, in fact.
Each time a new year begins, I always feel that I have to ask for peace, love, health while praying nothing bad happens - brushing the surface of the general requests, just like a Miss Universe would do. Staying away from major problems is my main request, but that’s no longer part of my plans, it’s an acquired one. I want that, more than anything, always and all year round, year after year.
In 2018, I intend to be more objective with myself to bring forth the dynamic, creative and hardworking creature that I consider myself and by believing in me more often, I defined a plan with 5 ambitions/goals/improvements in my life for my wellbeing (no, I don't want to lose 10kgs in 3 weeks, I don't want to become vegetarian from tomorrow at 8am, I don't want to win the lottery - I don't play or bet anyway...)
Goal #1 Invest on my beloved little business
For being naturally introverted, I never screamt to the ‘four corners of the world’ that I have the dream of a business of my own and for rarely believing in myself, I was self-annihilating my potential.
That story is long gone.
Helping a friend through my interpretation of art and inspired by the power of becoming a mother for the first time, all that triggered this growing willingness to bet on me.
My progressive success - in its modest way - was fueling the feeling so in 2017 I invested my time on my forgotten Etsy shop while designing monthly and weekly handmade planners that I kept dreaming about and took the next step on my favourite portrait style - the cartoon-ish one. I am now proud to say that the power of love for PipaCrafts made it possible to spread my handmade works to the various continents of this planet Earth!
Each order is a blessing for me. For each order I am grateful yet incredulous. Positivism invades me almost straight away - I do a secret winning dance each time, let me tell you.
Each new order allows me to dream a little more.
The idea for 2018 is not to stop or slow down.
I'll make it.
Goal #2 Be a better mum
Bring it on the sayings, the theories, the articles, the 300 thousand years of experience and all that Jazz.
Being a mum is both a blessing and a condemnation.
Do not deny it, do not avoid it.
If we are on the same boat, you know that days can be wonderful like a story or a movie and become as dark as the dark ages in a blink of an eye.
Our mood combined with theirs - whether it's one, two or five kids - can result in a perfect, extremely happy combination where butterflies surround us while singing, where sky is bluest, clouds are shaped like unicorns, even the ugliest nettle in the garden smells of roses and we are such powerful mums that we can bear the world with one finger.
But if the night was tough, you have a poorly baby, you are struggling to keep up with your credit cards and you spend hours of your day washing endless dishes and glasses and mugs and cutlery and spills and God knows what else, the depressive, the saddest and deprived state of life itself is just around the corner.
You had a life in the past, you once had a house clean and tidy, you once felt like yourself.
Is it a lie?
Well, it is not in this house!
The more she grows, the more I love her and I keep trying to accept that this motherhood business is a challenge to our sanity for the rest of our lives and if the temperament is short-sighted - as mine is - sometimes we look at ourselves and wonder: Why did I got so upset? Why do I feel so exhausted so quickly? Why am I so angry?
I need to be more gentle, more tolerant, more permissive without forgetting the rules. I need to be fairer to her, accept mine and her imperfections while extending my patience, valuing the importance she has in my life.
I could not have done better so far, but I agreed there is room for improvement.
May the time together be more precious, more valuable, more meaningful.